Before our kids could spell or read, my husband and I would verbally toss letters into the air so that the wee ones would remain oblivious to our plans. As you fellow parents out there know, plans can change, and children are not always the most flexible creatures. So in an attempt to avoid meltdowns and foot stomping, our dinner conversations would sometimes sound like this:
Did you want to get I-C-E C-R-E-A-M later?
Did you buy the P-R-E-S-E-N-T yet?
Now that two of the three kids can read and spell, that tactic is outdated. So we’ve resorted to secret talk. We do this with our friends too. So if we’re planning a fun weekend activity for the kids (like say, Disneyland), both sets of parents must refrain from ever mentioning any word related to the upcoming event until we’re safely buckled in the car headed towards our destination. Because nothing sucks more than disappointing your kids with changed plans or capricious decisions. And let’s face it, I might as well shoot myself in the foot if I happened to mention in advance, “Hey kids! We’re going to Disneyland next week!“, because the next seven days would be filled with excruciating conversations like:
When are we going to Disneyland?
Remember what I said yesterday? We’re going next week.
Is it next week yet?
Sometimes just for kicks, we like to sabotage our friends. It goes a little something like this:
1. Make sure to time your sabotage tactic correctly. (Tip: A good time is when their kids are fussy from long day)
2. Think of the most ludicrous place/activity. (Tip: Chuck E. Cheese is always a good contender)
3. Make sure their kids are within earshot.
4. Make inappropriate announcement.
5. Watch your friends squirm.
So, it goes a little something like this:
Your friends Brenda and Dave are hanging out at your house with their kids (who, by the way, are tired and fussy from a long day). You turn to your friends and casually mention, “Hey! I heard you were taking the kids to Chuck E. Cheese for dinner!“ Sit back and watch their kids get hopped up with excitement. (Note: evil laughter, optional).
It’s all fun and games until you become the victim, your friend the saboteur. Like last night.
Last night Brenda casually makes the announcement, “Tomorrow I’m going to make heart shaped pancakes for the kids!”
Oh yay! Yippee!
Her kids were excited. My kids? Not so much.
I curse under my breath and avoid the fierce glares of my kids (who most likely are wondering if their mama is going to do the same). I crossed my fingers hoping my kids would forget about those pancakes, but guess what we had to make this morning? Yep, you guessed it. H-E-A-R-T shaped pancakes.
Watch it, Brenda. We’ll get you back.